Sunday, April 05, 2009

Into the last run....

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Here I am... typing day and night, trying to fit in two years of my work into 70 pages(and that, others say, is still more than the average by 8!). I would rather code another module than have to write a technical thesis. There! I said it! I, who love writing, actually said I prefer doing something else to writing. And that is how bad it is really!

It is not really the writing that bothers me. Come on! I can produce good writing if I set my mind to it. But it is the impending deadline(this Tuesday) that is really nerve wracking. And I'm one of those poor souls who actually try to relax first and then look at the deadline. So, to relieve stress, I take up a book or watch a movie or go to a game or write a post or ..... you get the drift!

And then, I'm late again! And I have to rush --> my stress builds up --> back to square one. Do you see a cycle here? I do, and I can't break it! Worse, I don't really want to break it for its loads of fun all through. 

One of my friends (lets call her sane Jane) heard this predicament of mine and she said that I should follow my head and not my heart in these issues. But I so love it while it lasts! The first stress attack, the following fun break(whatever and however long that lasts!), the guilt trip at the end of it, the justifications, the second stress attack and goes on... Even now, I know that I should be back at work, typing something here, rephrasing something there. But I would rather have to do things in a shot and get smaller bites done with rather than do something day in and day out till the entire thing finishes and then relax for days to end till the next big thing starts. For I'm sure I would get bored by continuous work and continuous play. Guess its the Libran in me kicking up asking for balance in all, more importantly, balance in work and play!

And the second thing is, thesis writing is a journey in itself. Though you may get help from your friends (they listen to your rants (I've said everything from running off to the moon to time traveling to my future skipping this part), they make sure you eat well, they take your mind off your thesis for sometime, they do your shopping for you(thanks RP! I don't know how MANY times I've asked you get me stuff), etc etc), your advisor, your labmates and of course, your family (Airtel would've gotten a hefty profit just because of my calling home every single day and ranting for an hour! Its a wonder that my mom doesn't take the next flight, come here and write my thesis for me! She sure is a patient woman!), you have to go through it alone. You make the thesis, word by word, line by line and there you are! One day, the thesis is done, you don't have anything to add to it, anything to remove from it and you are happy in some sense. I've started feeling it with one or two chapters already but I'm pushing through for the whole thesis. Hope I get there soon and can capture that moment of happiness forever in my heart and mind and blog so that I can get it back whenever I want, wherever I want to cud chew it through in future times of quiet reflection.

Till then, back to work and see you later......

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