Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Loss of a friend!

Reactions: 

A friend is one who shares everything with you, laughs with you even at the smallest thing, giggles with you (very important for girls! I know the guys hiding a smile at this nonstop activity of girls! But more on that in another future post!) about everything, knows even the best kept secret about you, who wouldn’t give up on you and your goodness and shortcomings and sticks with you in every situation, ideal or otherwise! The degree of all such things depends on the closeness you feel with that person and the amount of trust and love (yeah! You heard me right!) in your relationship concerned. I lost such a good friend. Though I have not lost in flesh and blood, I have lost her in soul and spirit. This post is a “Mouna Anjali” to her and our relationship.
I first saw her in the first year of my college, on the second day (the first day, we had to just come, fill up a few forms, do the other necessary formalities and stuff like that! Frankly, I don’t have too many memories of that day. I tend to remember the good byes more than the hellos. I am a person who thinks that a good round of goodbyes are more important and that they prepare us for the next round of hellos! What do you say, folks?). Then, I never thought I would become very close to her because she herself was a bit unsure of herself and the surroundings and here I was, thinking that I knew everything I had to know in the college (coz of my family who had studied there! Boy, was I ever wrong! But that is a different story!) and was confidence personified. And, I tended to move more with the dayscholars than the hostelites (lack of experience in dealing with such a situation!) So, I kept to myself and she to herself! I knew that such a person existed but didn’t care to know more!

Thus we smoothly glided onto the second year! There, I had a good time with her, especially in the fourth semester! It was pure fun. We complemented each other very well. She was vivacious while I was a bit more serious, she was prone to talking “galeejully” while I stuck to proper English whenever I could help it (and that was loads of times! Ask my class guys!), she was too adjusting to others’ wishes while I wouldn’t adjust to anyone else beyond a certain limit(not many have tested it, thankfully) and lots more! But, we managed to do some good stuff and had loads of fun in the progress!

Then came the third year where we came closer in the face of ununderstandable wrath! Also, we shared our closest secrets (what else other than our crushes and stuff like that?), did so much activities together and had such a great time that all was gung ho for a while. Though we had different responsibilities to take care and never had too much time for each other, we respected the little time we had together and used it preciously!

Now, in the fourth year, we are going away from one another. True, she is still with me at any time I ask of her and I do the same. But the josh of the old relationship is lost. That maybe because of our varying interests and opinions and ideas about everything! The same differences that brought us together are tearing our friendship apart. Guess any relationship has to stand the test of time. And this one is doing fairly ok but not very well.

I have a theory about any relationship. It first starts, reaches the first crest and trough and goes through everything before a comfortable level could be reached. Once the comfy zone is reached, it is very difficult to break the relationship. And, it does not end unless the concerned parties make a conscious effort to do so (and this is rarely the case!) With some people, such transitions happen very effortlessly and by the time you stop to ponder, you have reached the comfy zone. And, with some others, we have to make a very strenuous effort to bring it to the comfy zone (both the parties have to work hard!). And, with some others, we are conscious of the change of the relationship from one stage to another. Though we wouldn’t have to work on the relationship, we would be continuously aware of it.

My relation with the friend in question is of the third type. I still think of all the fun we have had and that we have done and failed to do. It is lovely thing to reminisce about it but I feel that it is no more possible to bring it back to the original level. It would require too much effort from both of us and both are not interested in doing it. I am not angry at the turn of events. I am only saddened by it. But I have the maturity to understand that some things have to be let go of for life to continue and so I leave it and leave it with a heavy heart. So friends, I am bidding adieu to her in spirit and to our friendship! (though its skeleton would certainly exist till both of us go to the other shore!) (and if you are reading this post, my friend, I’m sure you would know what I’ve said here to be true and you would agree wholeheartedly with me!) (for others, please don’t ask me who this is!)



No comments: