Thursday, July 03, 2008

Top ten reasons why America is the best country in the world!!

Now that we have the Fourth of July upon us, there have been loads of forwards floating about the best and worst of America. Though America has its bad points(like every other country in the world), I respect it for its people's hardwork, individualism, open mind(some call it crazy mind!!), diversity, etc. Here is a forward from two of my American friends. They said that they had the comments written up when they were bored at work.

Disclaimer: None of the opinions given here are mine and I don't endorse any. So, please don't flame me. I post it here because I see a sense of wry humor in this forward. If you don't, well and good, just lite it.

Top ten reasons why America is the best country in the world

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
I’m not sure that this is actually accurate. That is, has someone actually put together a graph with the locations of every hospital, fire department, etc., and analyzed this with traffic patterns? Somehow this seems fishy.

2. Only in America.....are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink.
There are legitimate reasons for there to be handicapped places in front of a skating rink. Say we have a handicapped parent. Should we really make it extra hard for him because his able-bodied children are able to use the skating rink. (You can make arguments just about anywhere for things like this; hence why ADA requires them)

3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Perhaps because cigarettes are an impulse buy that you remember when you leave the store and prescriptions are not? OTC drugs are also a high-value item for shoplifters. Putting them in the back allows for more reaction time. Cigarettes are behind the counter and more difficult to shoplift.

4. Only in people order double cheese burgers, large fries and a diet coke.
Interestingly enough, the caloric content of a soda is non-negligible. For example, a large coke at Taco Bell has 350 calories. A McDonald’s Double cheeseburger has 440 calories, and a large fries at McDonald’s has 570 calories. The soda has 80% of the calories of a double cheeseburger and 61% of the calories of a large fries. Assuming that you’re eating three meals of this a day, such a diet would have 3000 calories daily. Not healthy, but much better than 25% more calories.

5. Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
What bank doesn’t have its doors unlocked during business hours? Pens are chained to the counter to keep you from inadvertently walking off with them. If you assume that you have a thousand customers in a bank a day, 10% take a pen, and pens cost ten cents each, then you’re costing roughly $10 a day in pens. Unless you’re trying to advertise, you probably don’t want to spend something like $200/mo in pens.

6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
If you have a lot of useless junk, you can’t very well put it out in your yard. Cars can be locked, and even if it’s not great for the paint job, you don’t have much of another option if you want to create the illusion of cleanliness in the home. I don’t think that this is unique to the US either.

7. Only in we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Although we end up taking messages from people we didn’t want to talk to, answering machines are primarily so that we don’t miss calls at all. What’s wrong with managing information?

8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
This has to deal with bakers tending to do things in multiples of three and four, not some wide conspiracy. You’ll find that they do this in Europe as well. Hot dog manufacturers use a more natural multiple of 10, as do many other items.

9. Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well:'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures '
This is a false etymology. The derivation is from “politicus” or “citizens of the state”.

10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
ATM machines are made mass-manufactured, and we still have ADA in our pocket. It’s also possible for a blind person to walk up to an ATM machine.


Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

lol good one..esp the one on pizzza and politics

alpine path said...

fantasies of a lifetime, yup! I loved the pizza one especially :D