Hi Folks,
This is going to be a quiz post( or a post quiz???) Please leave me your answers as comments. Don't worry. This is not going to test your grey matter(Sorry, AB! I know you were waiting for a chance to flaunt yours... But not here and certainly not now). This is more to do with what you think is the right thing to do in a certain circumstance. Ok, no more suspense! Here goes:
My sis and me were having one of our petty arguments(we prefer to call them intellectual debates. My mom has an entirely different opinion though! ;)) We were deep into some psychological stuff and were trying to prove Sigmund Freud right or wrong. Our maid usually overhears our conversation and she too gave valid points from time to time. Gradually, the talk turned towards selfishness and my sis and me were whole hearted in our decision(A rare thing!! But it still happened). We were about to jump to another topic when our maid threw in a few questions.
1) what would you when a person very close to you is very selfish??(you can't live without that person, atleast not in the immediate present)
a) You just accept the fact and go on in life as if nothing happened.
b) You accept the fact but become more careful in your dealings with that person(how??)
c) You try to change yourself according to that person - become too submissive
d) You try to change yourself according to that person - you too become selfish!!
e) You throw a tantrum
2) If you choose options c or d, how long would you be submissive/selfish??
a) A few days
b) a few weeks
c) 1-6 months
d) 6-12 months
e) 1-2 years
d) More than that (then it would become a part of your character)
Please do give me your comments. My views on this would be in the next post!
Till then,
Alpine path
7 comments:
b and d work together: When the act is being too selfish, you point that out. Live by example... selfishness usually arises out of insecurity. If you can prove to the person that he/she has nothing to fear from you, he/she will start becoming a little less selfish. And finally, sometimes a little lesson once in a while (very rarely) to prove your point might show the other person what being selfish means will work.
He he... I am never short of solutions! :)
Very true, Sudipta. Insecurity is one of the reasons people tend to become selfish and hoard up stuff for themselves and their families. However, your point about teaching a lesson should be exercised with caution coz that person might not get the intended lesson and the relationship might go awry.
Your solution is kinda good. Long live your solution filled mind :)
Thanks a lot for ur comment pal! Kind of frustrating( in a way) when everyone gives their comments offline. I don't know if people are comment shy or just that since I meet most of them daily, they think it easier to tell it to straight to me!
a and b works in few cases.
IT happens sometimes that the ones u love and live with ( ur best friend ) , and are a part of ur character.. just vanish( i mean a communication black - out ) .
when u find him later u'll be shocked to know he'z in love and he just can't afford to spend time with you anymore like he used to do.., what do call it "selfish., mean., insecurity or the simple an organic change ... So in this the best thing to do is do Nothing., protect urself emotionally untill time does itz work., meantime lowering your xpectations helps a lot to fixing the relationship..
what do u think....
Jaya, I'd accept your theory of lowering expectations. But then, in this case, you are doing something. You are lowering your expectations and protecting ur sanity :). The case of a would come into picture when your hands are tied in a circumstance. Say, for example, what could women with little or no money, courage or support do when they face the harsh realities of life? Most of them succumb to the pressures of the surrounding. It is very few who actively fight the system and surface over the problems. And, about friends falling in love and giving less time for us, it sure does hurt sometimes but then that is part of life too ;) And, welcome onboard!!
I should say that you've got the total paradigm wrong., the hypothetical situation you illustrated, can also be the grounds of such a decision.., but people have barriers beyond money., system., society etc which are just the normal logical fragments which life entails., perhaps much complex things like psychological bondage etc..., can really take the most strong humans unnoticed, and force them to take insane decisions., This as per my xperience is the worst blow to your emotional integrity which is a must for u to move on in life .,
Each person who aspires to succeed should work on their relationships with great caution., as you have very little control over-others actions, plus being emotionally exposed , u could be caught off-gaurd and most of the time these situations end up in disasters., ( in relationships ofcourse ).,
Whatz ur View....
Well, Jeyan, thanks for your view. I think your experience has taught your great things and I do accept a part of your view.
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