Is the way humans think changing?

A group of friends and I, we are doing a discussion on Human thinking and how it changes. The seed for our discussion started with this article. In all, all of us felt the following symptoms:

• Cannot concentrate on a single task more than ten minutes - interestingly we found that we could concentrate if need be, but that the bar for need was set very high(way up near the sky!) so that most of our daily activities were below the bar. (You can say a deadline in an hour to be above the bar - but even then some of my friend just needed to check their text messages)
• Needed music in the background to give more productive work - I definitely need them to write better code but felt that when I'm writing articles and documents, the music is a hindrance! And some friends needed music even to study for exams! Heck! One of them even has a "Study time" playlist in his iPod.
• Cannot remember phone numbers - None of us can remember each other's phone numbers. I remember some phone numbers in India but that's about it. I don't remember my best bud's number in US though we talk to each other every alternate day. I'd be so lost without my cell phone and its list of numbers.
  
• Lesser exercise in strategic thinking for the brain - I think Google maps is really, really good making it easy to do all the figuring out for every shopping trip we do. We use the public transit for all shopping!! And my brain gets lesser exercise!! :(
  
• More skimming of articles - I cannot read any more serious prose or long poetry. Succinct is the word. Same with all my friends. Sometimes we wonder if the human brain is becoming more attention deficient. But my dad can still read long articles without batting eyelids! Guess the younger generation is the most afflicted with it.
• More web interaction - I 'talk' to so many of my friends through internet. Facebook, Twitter (though I don't use it much), Gtalk, Orkut, LinkedIn, etc, etc. The phone and face-to-face communication is becoming rare. But its fun and has become a way of life to get up in the morning and check messages on these mediums. I remember times when internet was limited to just half an hour a day and this was just 4 years ago!!
• More information, less knowledge, lesser wisdom - all of us are bombarded with information from all sides and in all forms. But it takes time to make it knowledge and that time is what we can't give to all information. It takes practice and time to make the knowledge into wisdom. But, we feel that transforming info to knowledge is possible for most of us but true wisdom is really difficult in this fast paced world. But I guess no one cares anymore - people have the internet and Google and Bing to bring the world's wisdom to their fingertips. If they can use that wisdom well, they'd be the kings of this world. But using the wisdom also requires practice. And that takes time!
• Change in lifestyle - I still remember the day my uncle took us to the bank to learn how it works. But now, everything is online and automated and more abstract than ever. My first bank trip to withdraw Rs.100 from my account required serious planning - go to the bank when it is open, fill in the appropriate form, wait in queue, etc. Now, all I do is, go to the atm, insert card and get the cash. Though it saves time, I'm not sure if the experience is worthy remembering in my day.
• Loss of older ways - We are so comfortable once things are set but in this fast paced experience, there is no settling down of things. My friend's daughter thinks that it is normal to chat inside the email but I remember times when that was not the case. And my mom still reminisces about the hand written letters and the joy they bring with every shout of "Saarrr! Possttt!!" but I feel disconnected about it (this might also be because my family stayed close and we never wrote letters to each other - I've never experienced the wait for a letter and thrill of seeing it in the mail box one day or the thrill of getting it from the postman).
  
• Speed - I need the movie to be over yesterday. My friend needs to tour Hawaii last month. Do you get it? We need everything to be done fast. Fast, faster! Once, I've caught myself thinking that the plane should touchdown as soon as it took off. With the influx of information at our fingertips, 'now' has become the norm. However, sometimes, it pushes people to the brink in coping with the pressures (have you felt the need to cross out everything on your to-do list?) and spoils their lives. It IS important to stop and smell the roses!

These are some of the ways we find that our lives are different from those that lived in the same position just five years back. I do see a big difference in the way we think, even between those in my age and those five years older to us or between us and those five years younger to us. The world is changing rapidly and the human mind is adapting rapidly as well. Hope this all leads to a balance and that the journey is interesting. Hang in there, mate!


What are your opinions on this post? Do you think our thinking is changing? Did your style of thinking change in the last few years? Any thoughts welcome.

My Hutch puppy!

Thought I left it in school, but oh no, it has followed me like the Hutch puppy!!



Long live our freedom!
Happy weekend!!

The Veggie challenge!!

I've been hounded by a friend of mine(I mean,literally hounded) who is a Vegan(Gosh!! How does he do it? No milk??? Mommy!!) to stop eating chicken and fish. I already don't eat red meat, because I don't like that taste much. But chicken, that is a different issue. And seafood is neither there nor here.

Jogging my memory(and taking my mom's help when I can't), I was a pure vegetarian till about 8 years old. Then started my love affair with chicken. I started eating chicken livers and moved on to real chicken pieces(the one with bones - apparently I became a big girl, big enough to handle bones!). Then, I stopped again due to non-encouragement at home. Actually, non-encouragement is a vastly different word from lack of encouragement. But I digress... And seem to have given some not-to-be-mentioned statements to my family! They love pulling my leg for it!!

Back to my Non Veg story. I started eating chicken again once I was in college when the doc said that I had to get some iron into my body to become Lady Shaktiman! (sadly that never happened - chicken went in but iron got spent more. And Lady Shaktiman? The hope is dimming!). And, as a result, I started trying out different chicken dishes(mmm... the Arunachalas and the shops near my college where we got this yummy grilled chicken!! They won over any hesitations that I had!!) and even started cooking some of them(And this was greatly aided by AS). The triple K's sure had some fun times cooking chicken dishes, right from chicken biriyani to chicken curry. And I became an expert at making Chicken Chettinadu, so much so that I started cooking chicken every week(!!).

Now I stand at eating chicken almost every other week. Been into discussions with different friends about veg/non-veg issues over the past one year. And finally got nailed by one of my friends who said that I should try only veg for a month and if I think that I don't feel a difference at the end of one month, I can get back to eating chicken as I like. He offered the piscatarian choice(veggies + fish for a month and then veggies for a month - he knows I can't/won't cook fish! And schemed to make me live on veggies for (almost)two months!! Aha! Now that won't do!) but brave that I am, I jumped on the veggie challenge directly!

The challenge is to eat only vegetarian diet(meaning veggies, fruits, rice, lentils, grains, dairy products, etc) for a month... That is 3*31 = 93 meals!!

Mmmm.... There I said it. The reason to put this on my blog is to chronicle my experiences with it so that I can judge easily at the end of the month. Since I haven't had chicken today, I'm taking today as the first day of the challenge. Oh God!! I can already see butter chicken mocking at me!! Give me the strength to overcome this challenge and prove the world that chicken eating is actually good for health! Or wait, maybe veggies are better!! Oh! Just prove whichever is better... so that I can stop having these arguments again and again with so many people.

P.S.: All words of encouragement/condolences to my state are welcome. Any support/personal stories are double welcome! But no flame wars please. And certainly no sending yummy chicken dishes home!!!

Demons of Time!!

She was happy
She was singing
Suddenly
She heard the Voice cry

She was flabbergasted
She hadn't encountered it before
She didn't know what to do
She called to the Voice

She wondered
Wondered about what was wrong
She worried
Worried about how to set it right

The Voice came
The Voice was sobbing
Slowly
The Voice told her the reason

"My friend died
Died of skepticism
Died of overdose of cynicism
Died of lack of care"

The Voice quivered
Quivered with sorrow and fear
The Voice waned
Waned so much that listening became harder

She was shocked
Shocked to see the Voice's waning voice
Of present, of the moment

She remembered
Remembered the Voice's exuberant voice
Of past, of yore

She realized
She had drawn upon the Voice
To pull her through trials and tribulations
She had leaned on the Voice
Through troubles and thunders

She realized
The Voice needed her care now
To bring it back to its past glory
The Voice required nourishment
Lack of which, it would wane to forever

She was afraid
Afraid if she was worth the task
Afraid if she had it in her
To pull them both through this ordeal

She knew
Knew that she can do it
Knew that the time has come
To put the Voice's teachings into practice

She rose to the task
The task that will raise them both
The Voice followed this time
Happy that it had done a worthy deed

The Voice was sure
That it was in good hands
She was determined
To heal the wounds of skepticism

She and the Voice
They battle the demons of time again!
Let us wish them the best
For they need it, in their own ways!

[Mourning the loss of a friend's Voice.... er, Voice's friend!! Amen!]

Michael Jackson

Michael Johnson, the King of Pop is best known to me as the first "foreign" artist I knew at the age of 7 or 8. Ever since hearing his "Thriller", I've thought that "western music" was always awesome. But as I dug deeper into his other albums and that of other artists, I found that the expectations set by "Thriller" are very very hard to be matched, let alone exceeded!

My second brush with him came during my pre-teens when we were ardently discussing "Backstreet Boys" and "Boy zone" and of course, comparing them with the enchanted MJ, as we all called him. We've spent hours discussing them yet none of the other albums still created the magic of Thriller for me. Then, as I grew up, I moved away from MJ's music and completely lost touch with it. But, now, after hearing his death yesterday during our mixer party, I felt a sense of loss, the loss that comes when your first pop icon is no more. I looked forward to going to one of his concerts ever since I was a kid. Yeah! One of those fans that were mad for him and his songs! Sadly, I'll have to take it off my "100 things to do" list. Sure, I can replace it with any other artist's concert. But nothing would match that of MJ's.

He was to my previous generation(and to some extent, ours) what Elvis Presley was to our parents generation. I don't think any other artist can beat him in his dance moves, the famed "moonwalk", his freeze-shots, etc. He is the only "phoren" artist millions of people in the villages of India knows. Even today, you can see people comment "Nee enna periya Michael Jackson nu nenaipaa?" to someone trying out different dance moves! Imagine being known to people who have no idea of America, no idea of dancing and certainly no idea of western pop music!! Ah! that is fame, that is immortality!

MJ, you'll surely be loved for the magic you created with music and dance! Thanks for letting us share that magical world with you as you took that journey! Now, at the end of the journey, hope your soul rests in peace. Amen.

What can you do with Rs.500?

What can you do with Rs.500 (or little over $5)? This link was on a friend's gtalk status and I couldn't help sharing it over here:



Lets do our best to give kids education and a safe childhood, the childhood that we were all privileged to get. We owe it to our future citizens and the world at least this much!

This is a topic close to my heart. Lets aim to give at least Rs.5 per month(is it $0.1?) for a kid's education (any kid, it can be your housemaid's daughter trying to finish her 10th standard, it can be your locality watchman's son trying to get books for school, it can be even kids from the local school). Just go and you'll find the needy kids in every corner of India. Or, give to one of the NGOs that are working towards this cause. I'm sure our small help to a kid would radically change his/her path in life. Lets join hands to eradicate poverty and work towards education for every kid!

Moved Neverland successfully!

The last few weeks have been frenzied. I had to move Neverland and set it all up again. Phew! Dismantling and rebuilding, especially Neverland, is a thing I really don't look forward to. Though setting up a new home is always fun, I find that I've become a creature of habit and was trying to capture the Neverland in its last state. I realized this last night when I spent some two hours (two hours that should've been used to work or atleast catch up with stuff - We ALWAYS have that, don't we?) trying to rearrange the furniture (read, a bed, two shelves and a box - I'm yet to get a table or chair) and all the small stuff in different positions. Finally, I got so frustrated that I decided to get it all back to the original position. I then realized that I was trying to recreate my old room and moved the lights and shelves a bit to accommodate it. Now, if only I can raise the height of my bed to get the window view...

On a related note, I'm going bed-shopping before this weekend is over. For without the window and the draft hole over my bed, I got so bugged yesterday (yeah! its the summer in Neverland! I'm only thankful that I didn't go to some other places where I know I be fried like pork chops!!) and woke up so many times that finally my roomie had to restrain me from touching the AC control (she is a light sleeper and I would have switched on/off the AC atleast 15 times). The worst part was I was feeling very sleepy yet couldn't sleep. If hell was possible, it was that. I had to call quits and called V for a night chat. Our chat was fun as always but my work day loomed large and I had to force myself back to sleep. Oh! How I wish I was still a student in this regard.

PS: Though I've kept up with most of your posts, I've not really had time to write the posts. With regard to this post, I had some interesting and insightful chats with fellow bloggers. That led to different paths and I'm willing to test some of them. So, hang on and we'll glide through to see what is present on the other side. For I am as curious as you are :)

Miss you, Nands!

She was a great friend of mine,
She helped see the world and life,
Still a source of fun and frolic
Though far, yet close to heart.
Miss you Nands!

This is her favorite hero and song. I chanced upon it in another friend's orkut album and that triggered all sweet memories of school, innumerable badminton matches, the fun life of 7th, 8th and 9th standards, the final farewell party at her place, dance practices, Guides club planning sessions, crush talks and of course, our farewell to our seniors! Man! I miss those days!



And yeah, Dino Morea still looks good in this song :D

Where do we go from here?

Blogging, for me, has been a really fun thing to do. I've come a long way from the first post to now. I've done some really good posts and some bad ones. But overall, I see that my writing has become better and more importantly, I love doing it! But, as I move from being a college student (that thought is still so new to me!!) to a professional, I feel that I need to make a few changes to my blog. And I need your opinion on it. 

I want this blog to follow my life experiences and my opinion on anything that I think is worth it. But, at the same time, I value my privacy. I blog anonymously for that same reason. However, I know that my blog is frequented by my friends (and I love hearing their opinion!) but certainly, one part of my reader base is tainted with preconceived notions of me. I think that a mind without any preconceived notions is the best receptacle that an author can hope for! 

If you've been following my blog closely in the past few months, you would see that I had tried a variety of things. I tried stories, poems, technology, finance, link posts, opinion posts, about-me posts, forwards posts and even the Voice series. Though I liked all of them, there was nothing (save the Voice posts and opinion posts) that I really loved writing. Frankly, stories and poems are good but I need to wait for that creative streak to come (that type of creativeness is rare in my case! I might still belt out an occasional story or poem.. but thats about it!). Technology and finance, I think I'm more suited to reading about them than writing about them (for there are already experts in these fields who can write them better - I might bring in my opinions and usage reviews but not much else!). Link posts are good but I feel that they don't really come under 'My posts' category and certainly do not want my blog to be a bunch of bookmarks!!

Opinion posts!  Ah! Here comes the Pandora's box! I basically have only one tenet that I live with "do whatever you want to as long as it doesn't affect others' lives in a big way!". So when I apply this tenet to all the problems in this world, it sometimes ends with solutions that are not accepted by all in this world. And that has led to some fun wars offline!! :D I really want to hold peace with my friends and hence don't think that it is a good idea to put all my opinions on my blog and get rap for it. Why ruffle feathers when you don't have to do so? I can live with my opinions, the other person can live with her opinions and we can still be friends. We wouldn't discuss politics or abortion or any other touchy issue when we meet in real life. So, why do it in the blogworld? I've seen that most people (me included!) become a tad defensive when our beliefs are challenged. We may be right or we may be wrong, but we turn defensive. And try to come up with reasons to hold on to our beliefs even when we are proved wrong! Sadly, losing graciously is a quality that most of us have to learn. And its hard to make someone change their opinion on any issue when they don't have an open mind (too much work and too less returns!). So, I don't think I'd want to fill my blog with it. Maybe, I'll pepper my blog with it just to spice things up occassionally ;)

About-me posts, these are among the really easy ones to write (well! who would find it hard to write about their favorite subjects, themselves? :D) but of late, its becoming harder as I don't feel really comfortable writing about myself. Call it growing up, call it being cynical but it's a fact. I'd rather write about something I saw or heard or read than something I felt or wanted or liked. It does change people's opinion of you. Once, I had a friend refer to one post of mine and ask me something at a party. It was ok but I was a tad annoyed. It was right out of the blue and I wouldn't have willingly shared all that info in real-life setting. Further, I think its not necessary to tell all about yourself to the anyone and everyone in the world. Some things are best kept off the line. Else it takes the spice off life for there is nothing to explore about the person! Though, sometimes, its really good to get people understand without you being explicit! But it's too much a price to pay for this convenience. So, this would be minimal from now on.

Forward posts, they are easy to do too. But, sadly there are very less forwards or articles that I feel are really worth sharing. Not that others are not good or something, but I don't feel like putting them up. And, they have the same horror of link posts - not really coming under "my posts" category! So, this too would be occassional from now on.

Voice series, now, here is something that I'm sure would still remain in my blog. It is a nice snapshot of various emotions that I see in life. It's quasi-personal in that I can tell about people's emotions without really telling about them and endangering their privacy. But I'm sure that a blog with just these posts would be similar to a poem blog and I don't want that monotony in mine. Or, rephrasing, I don't think I'm that passionate about it yet. For, posts in Voice series are more spontaneous and they just "strike" when I see an emotionally charged situation. I can't wait around for the mood to strike. So, using only these posts is not a good idea.

So, it brings me back to the question: What do I do in my blog now? Any ideas? Anything that you'd like to see more/less/added/removed/changed? Do give your suggestions and we'll try each of it out. Oh! this is going to be fun and I'd get to try out different stuff. So, readers, pour in your ideas!

PS: On a personal front, I'm moving NeverLand from B__ to R__ in a few days. So, I'd be busy moving stuff, walking the 'Walk' to get my degree (at long last! Phew!) and spending time with family (I'm so glad they are making this trip! I'd get some more time to spoil my nieces :D). I did a really good farewell trip to most places in and around Neverland, met with almost all friends, did all the stuff I wanted to (too many last-time-points in these days). So, I'm all set after the farewell trip. Nothing like a good farewell to make you get ready for a good welcome! I'm going to miss B__ for it has been my home for the past two years. I've learned so much, grown a lot and had various experiences that made life interesting. In all, I'm glad I decided to come here and do my MS. I'm proud to be part of this great university, its people, labs, traditions and all. With this, I'm signing off! See you next soon!

The 'Indian' Way!

Interesting Article!

Would you want to do things the 'Indian' Way?
For me, I'd love it if we can have both the state and people working towards our goals. But I guess that day is still a distant dream!

Secret Seven!!

Being under hibernation, I hadn't filled up a tag from a friend. Now, being the VO of Neverland, I finally dug into the forgotten to-do list and brought out the tag. Here it goes:

Tag rule: Tell seven things about yourself that you want to share! (he had just listed some characteristics of his... So I made this up! You can make it spicier/saucier/sexier when you do this tag - no restrictions!) And pass it to 5 friends!!

Tag:
1) I think I'm going to end up with the nice-girl-of-the-town title (I don't mind that as long as I have fun) and hope I don't finish last.
2) I can't stand people who are hypocrites. If you stand for something, do stand for it till the end. Don't change it ever so often. And stand for your principles even if it hurts. I'd respect you more a person for sticking up to your beliefs even if I see you have been in the wrong. If you change your principle about something, do so only on the basis of a solid reason. Don't change it for every whim and fancy! Please spare the world from it!!
3) I want to give everyone a fair chance in explaining what they did and why they did something. Everyone has a reason to act as they did! And certainly no one is stupid, just that the priorities are different! We should respect the differences and give people a fair chance! Seen too many breakups because of lack of it.
4) Am fairly easy to get along until you try to encroach on my private life. Just because I talk a lot to you doesn't mean that I give you permission to discuss other parts of my life(unless I explicitly do!). I prefer to keep different parts of my life secluded from one another (mixing never helps!).
5) Despite having a HUGE friends list, the number of close friends is less than 10 at any point of time in life. You need to have traveled with me in life for a considerable distance of life's journey before you can hit that list.
6) I love to eat anything red: right from strawberries to beetroot(my mom would be tired of making beetroot poriyal ever so often when I was a kid!). I think that anything red is lot tastier than others.
7) The basic things of my life have remained a constant despite all the experiences I've got. I'm glad I got them right the first time.

Tagging: Aths, Arun, Madhan, King Vishy and Dream Chaser.
Others, if you are interested, tag yourself and leave a link in the comments section.

P.S:He! He! You thought this was a post about my childhood-favorite detective gang? (though, I'd love to do it).

Incredible India

One of my friends forwarded Aamir's Incredible India video link. After some more youtubing, I came across another one that more closely resonated with what I think is a better glimpse of India's myriad differences. Our country truly stands by the slogan "Unity in Diversity". Here is the video:


India has so much to give, so much to share and so much to live for!! Missing every fibre of it! Love India!!

That's a dog??

One of my friends sent this picture by mail. Kudos to whoever thought it up!

Captures people's different perspectives beautifully!! Just my $0.02!

D-day results!

Aatha naan paasaayiten!!!

[Finally done! Now its Alpine, M.S.!! Two years of work bore fruit... looking forward to 15 days of laziness!! Thanks for all your wishes and prayers!]

போனால் போகட்டும் போடா!!

I might hit myself on the head later for writing this post today. But, I'm still going to write it. Yesterday, I was all strung and needed a friend to take me to coffee and give some gyan (அதாங்க, அறிவுரை!). I even started writing a post about the list of things I was glad for (ugh! what was I thinking? I mean I can write such a list but it was dripping of sap, I tell you!). Something sane stopped me from actually publishing it and becoming the laughing stock of my blog world.

Today, I'm all fine and ready to handle the matters of the world. The day started with some code handover (என் code படிச்சா எனக்கே immediateaa புரியாது (genius code னா அப்டி தானு சொல்றீங்களா? அதுவும் correct தான் :D), இதுல என் ஆசிரியர் அத படிச்சு புரிஞ்சு... ஒரே கூத்து தான் நடக்க போகுது!) followed by a presentation session. Finally, I was confident that I can do well in the D-day (இன்னைக்கு தான் நானும் pass ஆவேன்ர நம்பிக்கை வந்து இருக்கு... நேத்து வரைக்கும், செம பயம் தான்! அதான் sappy mood!). Now, here I am, sitting in the library (one of the least used spaces during my grad life; more on it later) with an iced tea in hand and trying to remember what else I need to get done.

Some senti stuff: I saw a friend of mine (அவங்களுக்கு என் பாட்டி வயசு! அப்டியே என் பாட்டி மாதிரியும் இருப்பாங்க... ஆனா, friendnu தான் சொல்லணும்) today and got all the more confident (ஒரு நெனைப்பு தான்! பாட்டியே வந்து "நீ நல்லா tear பண்ணிடுவ"னு சொல்றது போல இருந்தது). Also I saw exactly 3 CGs but yet to see my favorite one still(I don't think I'll see my fav CG for its been a rare sight to do so this sem! But the day is still not over! ) (Normally, 3 per day is a high rating for my university. Either, its the day or my mood or the weather!!) .

I got to finish some stuff at the library and am sitting in the till-now-never-used-by-me alcove in a plush chair (இந்த super எடத்த இவ்ளோ நாள் miss பண்ணிடெனேனு இப்போ செம feelingaa இருக்கு. சரி அதுக்கு என்ன பண்ண முடியும்? இன்னொரு semaa படிக்க முடியும்? போனால் போகட்டும் போடா தான்!) And, I had this attack of non-library-usage-in-the-past-two-years. I would've taken more story books and novels from here than tech books (I refer tech books online. எப்டி தான் அந்த காலத்துல, மக்கள் libraryku வந்து books எடுத்துட்டு போய் refer பண்ணி research pannangalo? Research flow மறந்து போகாதா? இருக்கிற எடத்துல இருந்துட்டே, googlela search பண்ணி, மறுபடியும் codea பார்த்தா, எங்க பார்த்தோம் எதுல விட்டோம்னு யோசிக்க வேண்டியதா இருக்கு... இதுல libraryku போய், தேடி எடுத்துட்டு வந்து, research code adikarathuna, அப்றோம் நான் degree வாங்க, atleast 5 yearsaavathu ஆகும்... அந்த காலத்து மக்கள் great தான்! நம்ம generationku தான் attention diversion ரொம்ப ஜாஸ்தி ஆயிடுச்சு! ஹ்ம்ம்! எல்லாம் technologyoda side effects தாங்க! நம்ம சொல்லி குத்தமில்ல!) and have been introduced to various new authors(from Russian to Korean to African). I wouldn't have explored their writing unless I had a ready place to do so.

But, seeing the thousands and thousands of books neatly stacked in shelves over 6 floors gives me the guilty feeling of not having used even a millionth of these available resources. (நான் இதெல்லாம் use பண்ணாமயே படிச்சு passum ஆக போறேன்! கஷ்டம்! சரி, எல்லாம் ஒரு talent தானு வச்சிகோங்க!) But as I think of other resources like the GamePlace, GymPlace, EatPlace, LabPlace, GradPlace, Buildings and ConfPlace (I've changed the names of it all - யாரும் இப்டி எல்லாம் பேர் வைக்க மாட்டாங்க - இது என் Neverlandla மட்டும் தான் இருக்குது - copyright, சாட்ஷாத் நானே தாங்க!), I see that I've not really used any of their resources fully. True! I've used some more than others and some less. But not all of it! (குடுத்த காசுக்கு use பண்ணோமா, இல்லையே? இதுல, சில பில்டிங்கு உள்ள எல்லாம் போனது கூட இல்ல - coz அந்த majorkum எனக்கும் ஸ்நான ப்ராப்தி கூட இல்ல.)

But I also think that I've spent all the two years in grad life to the hilt. I've had fun in all those places. Conclusion: Though the resources are available, my usage of them is limited by my time, priorities and the opportunities that come through. I have memories of all of them and its these memories that would keep me linked with Neverland. Love Neverland!

[அட! அட! அட! என்ன conclusion! புல்லரிக்குது! Effect of thesis work! But still, எல்லாம் உண்மை தாங்க. இந்த enjoyment periodla, சிலது எழுதி இருக்கேன், பலது எழுதினது இல்ல. இனியாவது எழுத idea! வெட்டி Officera இருக்கிற போற timela இதெல்லாம் பண்ணனும். Atleast எழுதலைனாலும், கொஞ்சம் நெறைய round அடிக்கற வேல வச்சு இருக்கேன்! So, எல்லா இடமும் போய் நல்லா பார்த்துட்டு, ஒரு good bye சொல்லிட்டு வந்தா தான் மனசு ஆறும். இனி வர்ர கொஞ்ச நாள், ஒரே மலரும் நினைவுகள் postaa தான் இருக்கும் nu பக்ஷி சொல்லுது. எல்லாரும் அத poruthukonga. முடிஞ்ச அளவு மொக்கையா இல்லாம பார்த்துகறேன்!]

PS: [இன்னும் கெளம்புவேனா, இல்ல இங்கயே settle ஆவேனானு தெரியல! அது D-dayku அப்றோம் தான்! ஆனாலும், pass ஆயிடுவோம்ற நம்பிக்கைல, அடுத்து என்ன பண்றதுன்னு மூளை இப்போவே பிளான் பண்ணுது! என் ஆசிரியர் இத பார்த்தா, tension ஆயிடுவார். ஏன்னா, அவர் எனக்கு வேற வேல வச்சு இருக்கார்! அது ஏங்க, நமக்கும் நம்ம ஆசிரியருக்கும் sync ஆகவே மாட்டேன்து? ஸ்டில், எதுக்கும் ஒரு குட்டி plan நல்லதுதானே? இதெல்லாம் think panrapovae, சீக்கிரம் வேலைய முடிக்கணும், இதெல்லாம் பண்ணனும்னு தோணுது... still, பாப்போம்! D-day வந்தா தான் தெரியும்!]

PPS: [எல்லாரும் கடவுள்ட நல்லா வேண்டிகோங்க. உங்க Alpine, சீக்கிரம் நல்லபடியா pass ஆகனும்னு! Will keep you posted!]

The seed!

This is a forward from one of my friends. Though I've read this one a number of times already through forward chain mails, something about it struck me today. Guess that since I'm in the reaping stage in one way and sowing stage in the other that makes it striking. Have fun!

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however.
He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives..

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees,and flowers you have grown," said the CEO "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

Just remember that what you sow, you will have to reap it later. It applies for happiness, sorrow, kindness, anger, etc. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Stock taking in Neverland

Been a crazy week, with nothing to do on the Monday and a pile of work to do on the Friday. But I caught up with some of the things in life and am really glad for the breathing space just before the D-day arrives.Yup! I'm waiting for the D-day. But more on it as the day gets closer. A quick run of what's going on in Neverland (yeah! that is where I live!):

• We had yet another last event, the Vishu potluck which was nice. I made only rice for I had forgotten all about it and didn't have time to cook in the end (if AS hadn't reminded me, I would have missed a potluck! Damn! that is a terrible sin in grad life and I was about to commit it!). But thankfully, my friends needed rice and I was glad my forgetfulness turned out for good :D
• The movie and chai after the potluck at a friend's place was good too! I got another glimpse into the complexity of people's lives. Just a word: Nice!
  
• I had another last, my last staff meeting at my workplace. It was kind of good but I started feeling detached (might be because of some ruffled feathers that I saw in workplace). Though I was sad, I am ready to let go. More on my workplace in a later post! But they surprised me with a sweet gift! :) So thoughtful of them!
  
• I learnt the same lesson yet another time. Guess I'm becoming too stubborn a student to even remember a simple lesson from life. Totally yucky!
• Got to hear C sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". In her voice, the song is all the more sweeter. She made my day! Guess I'm going to pamper her all the more as she grows up :D
  
• My last cabinet meeting and delegate meeting got over this week. I'm happy for all that I got to do in it. It was an exciting time and I got to meet a lot of American grad students and find what they think/talk/do in life. Its a small slice but I'm glad I got a chance to explore it!
• My last official pg meeting also got done last week. I'm sure going to miss it. But I guess some more tweaking to its structure would really help everyone a lot more. But who will bell the cat?
• My budget board meeting is wrapping up this week. It was a fantastic time with them and impressive to see how money is being allocated across the Neverland. Talking about huge amounts here! No wonder that money tends to become numbers beyond a point! I can now easily think in terms of 100,000s as I did with 100s. But it is yet another experience to let me grasp the real finances going on. And I'm glad for it!
  
• Whenever I cook chicken, the dish comes out different. That is the boon and bane of cooking! But I guess I'll start liking to cook sooner rather than later. Its fun to experiment and all the more fun to get someone else to eat it and go ga-ga [evil grin]. But seriously, now I make basic good food (something I thought was NEVER possible) and am ready to explore the more exotic ones (effect of being with AS, my roomie and K, my next-next-block mate). Gee! I'm waiting for Summer.
• Cleaning and sorting all through the week is a BORING job. But I came across a lot of stuff that I forgotten and they reminded me of Alpine two years ago. Some were nice, some were not (as in they didn't go as I expected them to) and some sprang a surprise. But it was a heaven of a journey (is there such an expression?) and I wouldn't trade it! Glad I took time to sort through stuff before I move the Neverland.
  
• I met an Indian freshman here. When she heard that I was finishing up, she said "Wow!!" and THAT made me feel old. Damn! I had given the same expression to my seniors (all the final years and third years of 20**, I'm really sorry!) and they had brushed it off. Guess its payback time! Ouch! it does hurt!
  
• Its always nice to fall asleep and have a friend wake you up at odd hours to talk to you. My friend would have wondered why I was not coherent for the first five minutes and how I could speak philosophy in the next ten minutes. And I dropped a bottle of water on my bed in the process! Its overloading the sills, I tell you! Any connection between the two events is purely coincidental :D

Now that the stock taking is over, I guess I'll get back to some more chiseling of the iceberg in my room (aka) catching up with long-lost stuff that I conveniently forgot in Neverland. Ciao! till then and wish that I come out unscathed this D-day!

Upside down?

This is in reply to one of my friend's requests. He has put up a picture on his blog and asked some of us to come up with suitable poems. Here is mine:

I woke up from my sleep

The breeze was caressing me

I unfurled my petals

The world smiled in glee

I saw a pretty girl

Talking without a care

She exclaimed

"Its blue up there"

And I looked up

All I saw was green

With some brown

in the 'tween

Am I looking up

And the world looking down?

Or is the world right

With me upside down?

-Alpine path

Another last!

Last Saturday, we had Tamil New Year celebrations at my university. Last year was a lot of fun and I had a memorable time with friends. I also got to host an event, plan for it and do impromptu stuff that was also on the lighter vein. The lighter vein was a first for me.

This year, again came the Tamil New year celebrations. And, I got to host that event again. It was so much fun and I got so sad at the end because it would be my last participation in this event. Yup! I wouldn't be here next year. Some observations on today:

• Each year, the flavor is different. I liked both this year and last. But my position had changed. Last year, I was the person running around doing stuff. This year, I can happily see the batons changing hands. And, the juniors ran around now! Yay! I love this part of graduation.
  
• There were some incidents that would have made me queasy last year. This year, though, I brushed it aside and did what was possible and best for all. I finally learnt a teeny weeny part of the lesson "You can't expect people to change, lite it and move on!"
• I couldn't help everyone to participate in it but I sure wanted to... It was loads of fun though!
  
• Last year's show dragged a bit, but this year, the show was lightning fast. And I had hoped for a lightning show last time (because I was so nervous) and a longer show this time (because I wanted one last time to do it). Well! Life gives you what you wish for... just at a different time! Talk about Time's warped sense of humor!! 
• The co-hosts' flavors also made a LOT of difference to the show. Last year, again, I was learning the ropes and had G teach them to me. This year, I was teaching it to DS. The funny thing is, both were classmates in college. I have SOME connection with their batch. I get to do loads of stuff with their batch.
• There are still some people who infuriate me. I want to bash their heads. Grrrr!!!
• I got some great acquaintences that night. It was fun sharing things with them!
• There is a lot more I need to learn with regard to balancing things.  It is amazing how some people get Stuff done and are still happy with personal life. Kudos to them!
• We did our usual Tech snap :D Can't finish without it!! 

In all, it was a memorable experience. I'm sure I'm going to miss it in future! But I'm also satisfied that I did my part in making life more fun for all of us and look forward to other opportunities. End of one part of my life at B! Sigh! Another Last!

Reviews, reviews and reviews!

If I had thought writing was not much fun, reviews are even less so. Though my friends and advisor are working with me to get things into shape (read keeping the grain and burning away the chaff in the thesis - otherwise, how to reduce 90 odd pages down to 60?), its still mind boggling in that I have to concentrate on so many small details and make sure each of them is 'just' right. I'm literally sweating the small stuff :D. But the thought that I'm just weeks away from my defense motivates me to go through it all. Yup! Unless things go south (badly south!) from here, I should be done soon!
Dreaming on.....

Trends of politics?

Is it the latest fashion to throw things (shoes are most preferred) at politicians?
First, it was Bush, past US President (then present):



And now it is Chidambaram(Home Minister, India):



Tch! Tch!

Into the last run....

Here I am... typing day and night, trying to fit in two years of my work into 70 pages(and that, others say, is still more than the average by 8!). I would rather code another module than have to write a technical thesis. There! I said it! I, who love writing, actually said I prefer doing something else to writing. And that is how bad it is really!

It is not really the writing that bothers me. Come on! I can produce good writing if I set my mind to it. But it is the impending deadline(this Tuesday) that is really nerve wracking. And I'm one of those poor souls who actually try to relax first and then look at the deadline. So, to relieve stress, I take up a book or watch a movie or go to a game or write a post or ..... you get the drift!

And then, I'm late again! And I have to rush --> my stress builds up --> back to square one. Do you see a cycle here? I do, and I can't break it! Worse, I don't really want to break it for its loads of fun all through. 

One of my friends (lets call her sane Jane) heard this predicament of mine and she said that I should follow my head and not my heart in these issues. But I so love it while it lasts! The first stress attack, the following fun break(whatever and however long that lasts!), the guilt trip at the end of it, the justifications, the second stress attack and goes on... Even now, I know that I should be back at work, typing something here, rephrasing something there. But I would rather have to do things in a shot and get smaller bites done with rather than do something day in and day out till the entire thing finishes and then relax for days to end till the next big thing starts. For I'm sure I would get bored by continuous work and continuous play. Guess its the Libran in me kicking up asking for balance in all, more importantly, balance in work and play!

And the second thing is, thesis writing is a journey in itself. Though you may get help from your friends (they listen to your rants (I've said everything from running off to the moon to time traveling to my future skipping this part), they make sure you eat well, they take your mind off your thesis for sometime, they do your shopping for you(thanks RP! I don't know how MANY times I've asked you get me stuff), etc etc), your advisor, your labmates and of course, your family (Airtel would've gotten a hefty profit just because of my calling home every single day and ranting for an hour! Its a wonder that my mom doesn't take the next flight, come here and write my thesis for me! She sure is a patient woman!), you have to go through it alone. You make the thesis, word by word, line by line and there you are! One day, the thesis is done, you don't have anything to add to it, anything to remove from it and you are happy in some sense. I've started feeling it with one or two chapters already but I'm pushing through for the whole thesis. Hope I get there soon and can capture that moment of happiness forever in my heart and mind and blog so that I can get it back whenever I want, wherever I want to cud chew it through in future times of quiet reflection.

Till then, back to work and see you later......

A random post....

[Note: This post might/will not make sense to most people, so if you have something better to do, go and do it!]

• Writing is a pleasure... but writing technical stuff that has to be approved by your advisor is so NOT FUN.
• As you get closer to the D-day, butterflies fly in your stomach (atleast they do in mine!).
• Not knowing if you'll have your D-day as planned is so damn stressful.
• A place that I go to for total relaxation: R & G's place. All the time I was there last evening, I totally forgot about my thesis. And that is a BIG thing at this point of time. Thanks, guys! I sure needed that break!
• Discussions about life over hot chai and savouries still rank top among the best ways to spend time.
• Mr. and Mrs. Smith might turn out to be in my favorite movies list.(haven't watched it fully yet, but from what I saw, its good enough)
• Not that it is a big deal, but I finally know who Brad Pitt is now(I know! Don't rub it in!)
• I need people. Period. Even if I don't see them all the time, I need people in the same house that I am in... when my roomies go to their labs to conduct experiments, I either run to my lab or to my friends' place.
• I discovered some great addons to Firefox that make my digital packrat uber happy!
  
• Sometimes, thesis writing speeds up like the Shadhabti express and sometimes it chugs along like the passenger. And sometimes, it just stops like the Pallavan!
• I need to get a mountain of work done in a week's time. I'm not sure if I can pull it off, but this is an interesting challenge. 
• Thunk! Thunk! (hitting my head hard on a pillar for letting things pile up)
• Get that done NOW!

Ok! Enough of chit chat! Back to work!

[P.S: I won't be around for another week! Have a great week and be safe, till then!] 

[P.P.S: I might break that too... so, just "see you till next time!"]

Can India 'Get there'?

A quick update: I'm writing my thesis right now and don't get enough time to write posts as usual. After all, its hard to find the passion to write when all you've done is to wrestle with words for the past four hours straight. Imagine grappling with multiple such sessions and you'd get an idea as to what I'm going through. But, in all that, I treat myself to reading articles when I'm done with parts of my work. Though I keep it to a bare minimum, they are a good perk-me-up. One of my friends recently sent me a link to an article that pulled me out of my thesis-writing reverie.

Do read the article to understand my post better!

Being an Indian, I accept with shame that ALL of it is true. Every single thing is true. And the comment about the population and political structure being behind it got me saying "Oh-so-true!". But the problem is not only because of population and politicians. It is deeply rooted in the culture. There were always lots of people to do everything. All the machine-intensive tasks of the West are labor-intensive in India(and generally, the East). For example, here, I use a vacuum cleaner, a dish washer, a laundromat, etc for my daily cleaning. But, back in home, there were people to help out with everything.

Further, when you have resources only fit for 10 people and you have 100 people fighting for it, people would do anything and everything to be in that elite 10. And what happens if you have the ability to collect resources meant for 2 or even 3 people? People start hoarding for their future, their kids' future and so on. Hence the divide between haves and have-nots increases. For, after all, there is no limit to a man's greed, right? So, in India, life is always "survival of the fittest". If you wanted to do well in life, you had to compete with 1000 other people in India compared to 3 other people in USA and other western countries. That makes a HUGE difference in the way people's attitude towards life. All said and done, life in US is a huge vacation compared to what is going on in India. Imagine if you worked hard all day for a big loaf of bread and got it? That is US. But if you worked hard all day for a small piece of bread but you are still not sure if you would get it or not? That is India.

This attitude towards life is the basic reason behind so many problems in politics, corruption, lack of good infrastructure (lots of infrastructure money is used to fund the contractors' private kitties first, and whatever remains goes to the actual work), pollution, etc. The Indian law code and budget are really good. But implementation sucks! The author had asked what the Nobel laureates and economists are doing for the country. They did what they know best: design a really good system taking into account all variables. As usual, they were brilliant in it. That is why we have one of the best law codes in the world and some of the most efficient budget plans. However, they are not good at implementation. And that is what India lacks! India needs people who are free of this 'hoard-all' mentality and who are brave enough to implement the perfect systems we have got already.

Further, the author said that India cannot change. I do not agree with it. India is changing, but in smaller portions. As more and more people are getting educated, they start realizing what is good and what is bad. That would lead to a better India, for sure. The reason Kerala is a lot better(from the author's view) is because it has 97% literacy rate. But Kerala has problems of its own which might not be visible to a tourist. I feel that education and efficient usage of resources would really change India, albeit in smaller steps. As more and more people realize that pollution and corruption would eventually kill them, there would come a systemic change. That change would change everything else as well. However, this change cannot be brought about by the Government(even if it wished) or any external body simply because these problems are deeply rooted in the Indian's daily way of life. So, quoting China or Thailand or US and comparing them with India is like comparing apples to oranges.

To fellow Indians, lets strive to make that change in our lives. Use lesser resources, work better, improve your life, help a less fortunate human. If we multiply that times one billion, we can surely 'get there'.

To fellow world citizens, India is still a very good place. I still welcome one and all to come to India and experience the unique experience it provides. India is much much more than all these problems. That is the beauty and problem of India. It has layers and layers of complexity to it. There is no one definition of India nor solution for its problems.

And, winning without problems is not challenging. Its winning, despite problems, that is challenging. And I'm sure India will win and overcome its problems, even if it takes time.

What are your thoughts on it? Do you think India is too big to succumb to these problems? Or do you think these problems are too deeply 'into the system' to make a change?

எது நீ?

நண்பருடன் இருபது நிமிடம் கதைக்க நேரமில்லாமல் நீ
நான்கு மணி நேரம் கதை புத்தகத்துடன் நீ
இதில் எது நீ?

How does your memory work?

I recently came across a great video about how human memory works. Some of the information is interesting and fun while some others are scary, but all of them amazing! Earlier, I had thought that memory loss is only about forgetting past facts and that didn't seem like a big deal as long as you could keep the main pieces figured out. But when I heard that it also affects how you imagine and plan for your future, it was shocking. Further, when it was showed that effect of experiences in the memory can be increased or decreased, it was totally hard to digest it all.


One small question. I think a lot about India now. Does that mean I'm continuously refreshing those experiences, and by that video's reasoning, slowly forget it all if I don't go to India regularly to refresh it?

Try it out!

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine over phone. We caught up with each other and discussed plans after graduation. He asked me mine and discussed as to why some of it was wrong and what I should do about it. Then, I asked him about his plans. There was a freeze. He didn't talk for a few minutes. Then, he said, "I want to do another MS". Now, I know this guy from my school age. I know that he is not the studious kinds nor is he really interested in engineering. I for one, thought that he was wasting time in graduate school and instead should be trying to figure out his passions. So, imagine my shock when he said he wanted to do another MS!

After a bit of probing, he came out with the real reasons. He didn't want to search for a job here (his exact words, "Jobs are too hard to get now. So, why bother to search? I'm happy in grad school. Let me be here!"), he didn't want to go back to India and take up a job and he didn't even want to think of doing an internship or part-time gig. So, I said that he should atleast give some thought to a PhD in his field for once he has decided to study more, why not do a doctorate? That would in fact help him get deeper into whatever he is doing right now. For it, his answer was "But research is too hard!". That, in one word, sums up to not wanting to take up responsibility. 

After discussing with him for ten more minutes, I found that he felt safer in grad school, he didn't have to face the realities of life(job search, recession, etc.), he preferred to be a college student all his life(not unlike Aamir in RDB), he didn't want to really try out anything at all. But if you look at his activities, he would be the first person, ready to try out all types of activities from camping to football to volunteering. I found a totally disconnected profile of him where he was uber-confident in smaller things in life but not so in the larger things in life. My heart filled with pity for him. He was afraid of his own shadows. No amount of pushing and prodding by others would help him out of his misery.

In fact, what would life do to you? Worst, you'd know that you died trying to reach your dreams. But if you decide not to even step out of your comfort cocoon, then dreams would just be wishful thinking. Heck! You wouldn't even know if there was a BETTER comfort cocoon than the one that you are in right now. And best, you'd have achieved all that you set out to do and would think, "Did I get scared for this simple thing?". So, go ahead, try things out! You have but one life to do it all!

A uber-fast weekend edition

It was a really busy weekend with me trying to catch up on my data analysis part and discussions on some meetings and shows(yup! I'm hosting a show in my university for the Tamil New Year. I did it last year as well and it turned out to be great fun. Also, I got some really good advice(as in, real advice) that made a dent in my views of life. This year too, I'm looking forward to it.) But here are a few interesting articles that I ran across:

Strange how the buyout of one company can seriously affect two unrelated companies - a followup on my ibm-buying-sun post - happens only in the technology sector.

Buiding an innovation nation? - The innovation heat map shows it all.

Will you take advice from fictional billionaires? - Strangely some of them make a lot of sense.

Some interesting office sites - wish I had the yacht or treehouse office(I know, I know, I wouldn't get any work done!)

Some disheartening scenes from recession - most of them show signs of arrested development - construction, job scene, shopping

Change of guard!

She loved life!
Loved everything in it
Every minute
Every second
Every moment

She lived life!
Lived everything of it
Every experience
Every emotion
Every fibre

She gave a lot,
And took a lot back

She had a lot of stuff
Even from the simplest of interactions

She decided to pare down
Even if it meant letting go

She threw stuff out
Gleaned from long-over endeavors

She built life!
Built everything from it
From the foundation
From the scratch
From the beginning

She changed life!
Changed everything in it
From the heart
From the sheath
From the mind

The foundation was shaky
She stabilized it with her mind

The beginning left her in the dark
She kindled a lantern from her heart

The start was scary and alone
She started it with her sheath

The path shivered her to the deeps
She took a ray of hope from her soul

The Voice smiled
Smiled at everything there!
At the decisions
At the changes
At the intensity

The Voice serenaded
Serenaded with questions there!
At the plans
At the thoughts
At the rules

The Voice was concerned
That the decisions were too fast

That the changes won't stand
That that intensity was against her nature

That the plans weren't well laid out
That the thoughts weren't well reasoned out

That the rules were too harsh
The serenading continued....

The Voice was worried
Worried that she was stressed
And making changes too fast

She was firm
The rules had changed
So, she better change too

The Voice said
'Don't go against your nature
You'll hurt yourself'

She said
'I won't go against my soul
I'm just letting it heal'

'By not pouring myself
To every cup in this world
And letting myself go dry'

'By not worrying about others
And unworrying about me
Acting too silly to keep everyone grown up'

'They can defend, they can do
The world doesn't need me to heal
The world goes on, even without me'

'Though my scent is rare and precious
It can live without me
I need myself, I need me'

The Voice understood
Her expectations needed a break
A break from family
A break from friends
A break from the world

The Voice thought
She needs herself now
Herself to heal
Herself to be happy
Herself to find meaning

The voice chided itself
For not seeing this happen

For concentrating too much on the out
For not seeing the health of the soul

The Voice wondered what to say
For this was a matter of the soul

It didn't have experience in it
Nor a soul to understand

She said
'Do you get it now?
For I need you to guide me through'

The Voice said
'I do get it now
But I can't guide you through'

'I don't understand matters of soul
For its not the heart or the mind
Which is child's play to me'

'Soul searches are like a cave
You can come upon diamonds
Or upon skulls and bones'

'Be prepared for both
But I feel its more the diamonds
Than the skulls in this place'

'Keep your ray of hope shining
For that is the link to your soul
And that will guide us through'

'Through the best of times
And through the worst of times
But always remember why the rules changed'

'That is the food for your lantern
The shovel for your mind
And the nutrition for your sheath'

She and the Voice
Hand in hand,
Walk the ray lit path.

The path was rough
This was a path less taken
And they needed each other

It all came to this in the end
The test had begun
And the rules of life had changed.

Lets wish them both
Give them time to heal
And keep a prayer on our lips!

A deal watch now?

As we see more and more companies laying off, the difference between companies that are doing good and the companies that are doing bad is becoming starkly clear. The ones that are doing OK would have to choose sides soon. And, in the end, the ones that are doing better tend to buy the ones that are doing bad(not unlike the jungle where the strong animals eat up the weaker ones, no wonder we are living in a corporate jungle!). The most recent talks are about IBM buying Sun. As the recession becomes worse, more and more deals and acquisitions are in the horizon. Do I have to start a deal watch now?

And, another question is, the strong companies are strong now. But, once the weaker companies are bought, would their position still be strong enough to wear out the recession? Or would that make them a weak company too, ready to be another victim?

Further, if this recession leaves us with just one or two players in each field, would it be good for the consumer? Would we have as many choices as we have now? And, worse, what if there was only one company per field? or worst, what if there was only one company that dominated many fields? I can see some companies emerging better in their fields and wielding considerable clout in others. Is it good for us as consumers? Wouldn't it be giving too much power into too few hands? Every time that has happened, it has led to tyranny and revolution in history. Would we see a corporate war in future?

What do you think? Is this deal the first of the recession or is it a one-off? And are these deals good for the economy and the future?

Disclaimer: All these views above are mine and mine only. They are spoken from the point of an ordinary consumer with data available to everyone in the world.

A trillion dollar bill?

Can you imagine a one dollar bill? 

Sure, you can get small stuff with it. 

Can you imagine a five dollar bill?

Sure, you can even have a decent meal at Burger King with it.

Can you imagine a ten dollar bill?

Sure, you can have a good sit-down lunch at a decent restaurant with it.

Can you imagine a fifty dollar bill?

Sure, you can use it to get stuff for a weekend party... the money would be best used for lot of stuff.

Can you imagine a hundred dollar bill?

Sure, it would be a good chunk of my rent.

Can you imagine a thousand dollar bill?

Sure, it would be in terms of my paycheck.

Can you imagine a ten thousand dollar bill?

Sure, it would be what I pay for my semester fees to my school.

Can you imagine a million dollar bill?

Uh! Now its getting harder. How about the economy of some companies or even small countries? Or maybe the life savings of an average American? I'm sure it would be a hard-to-imagine money for an average world-citizen(all the people in the world).

Can you imagine a billion dollar bill?

Wait! its a thousand million dollar bills right? So, is it the economy of thousand companies or countries? I can surely say that every Indian can get one dollar of it and still be fine. Or maybe the American stimulus bills can simplify it in my brain? 

Can you imagine a trillion dollar bill?

Whoa! that is a thousand billion dollar bills. And that means, its a thousand thousand million dollars. Are there even that many people in this world? Combining all the people in this world, I'd think the figures would be around 50 or 100 billion? Lets do a google search! Wikipedia says that there are only 6.76 billion as of March 2009. What??? Less than 0.7% of a trillion??? And here, the Iraq War alone costs more than a trillion dollars? And, you need more than a trillion dollars to revv up the economy? And, people aren't sure that it would help? Ok, based on thisinspiration, lets say the US Government decides to get all the cash to make a trillion dollar stack. Heck! The total circulation of currency bills is itself not a trillion dollars. Ha! Ha! Now its becoming funny! Other than war and pumping money to an economy, what else can a trillion dollars do? But surely, we are talking more of it. No wonder, the trillion is the new billion.What isa thousand trillion, anyone? For, with the way the economy is going, we might need to talk in terms of that soon.

What are your thoughts on this one?

Update - 3 17 09

Today was a lot better in terms of my research progress - atleast better than my whole spring break combined.

I got to:

• get some more ideas to tweak my algorithm (boy! would I be doing it till the day I defend?)
• analyze some prelim results and they were very satisfying. There is only one user profile that exhibits out-of-expected behavior but I would like to keep it in my user group, just so that I get to change my algorithm to cover that corner case too. But, there is only so much that can be done with my algorithm and I'm tempted sometimes to remove that profile. Lets wait and watch!
• started one run for a main result analysis - ended today morning - yet to take a look at it.
• spoke to my advisor and finalized some more leads.

In all, a satisfying day's job, provided the time I had between class and spending time with friends. My Rutgers friends left yesterday night and I spent some time with them. Also, wasted some good amount of time reading blogs(damn! stop it!!). 

See you with the next update.

Spring Break ends!

Ah! One more last post!

My last spring break ended yesterday. If all goes as I have thought of life right now, this would be my last spring break for I'd be done studying with this year. I planned to enjoy my best this spring break(yeah! yeah! I hear you say I do it all the time). But this time, I did my best to have all the fun possible, so much so that I didn't do much research this week. Don't let my advisor know about it, though! I did some number crunching and some tweaking but otherwise, it was a pretty slow week with regard to research. But with fun, it was very busy....

I had gone to Texas and had some really good time with my family and friends there. I caught up with some friends after a long time and had a great time with them. My nieces still retain the "most adorable kids in the world" title :) And B has perfected the art of disarming us with her smile. Every time she needs something from me, all she has to do is smile at me with her 17 teeth(yup! we counted!) and I'd be in poodles(I'd have melted already) and would be ready to do anything for her. Thankfully, for me, she asks simple requests like playing blocks with her or walking around the house with her. You wouldn't know how much time I spent putting five blocks through their corresponding holes over and over again. But I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world. And, I couldn't resist photographing her every day, just to hear her say "cheese!" :D 

And, N! She is now the "big girl" and tries to throw her weight around. That is so funny! :) Its amazing to see how quickly her thought process changes and how she adapts to everyone. She is a perfect Leo, getting all that she wants through others! And, its amazing how B handles her big sister :D Reminds me of A and me, I'm sure my mom would have laughed at it all. With my sis and bil, it was a good time alltogether and it was a perfect getaway from school. 

Then came a potluck with friends. I had earlier decided not to cook because I was returning from Texas that day, but suddenly decided to do so and whipped up some great curry within 15 minutes. Guess I'm getting better at cooking! And, SB's pooris were just yummy! They were the best of the lot(guess I'm partial to pooris because I don't get to eat them here. In fact, that was the second time in two years that I ate pooris in US, the first being the time when my aunt visited us). Followed by that, some of my friend's friends came to town and we had great fun planning for it. Add a hectic day of shopping, driving, cooking and you get the picture. 

Finally came yesterday... THE LAST DAY of my spring break! We went to Luray Caverns and Shenandoah and had a great time there. I'll post some pics later. The different poses(can anyone forget the V picture and the Attitude-look picture? Thanks to GV for that! But the most hilarious was the K-A picture. It was totally unintentional but kept us in splits for a long time. Something more to tease K with.... ;) ) were just too good. It was great driving through highways and country roads and fog and after 7 hours of driving, my driving desire got quelled for some time and I gladly handed over the keys to S(thank God he was ready to drive! otherwise, I would have started hating driving because I had a serious backlog of sleep.... and sleep makes me irritable. Period.) After a blissful power nap and some teasing of K(becoming my favorite hobby, gonna miss them all when this year ends!), we returned and I got to chat with home. Then came a late night drive and some good talk. Tell me this, are you or do you know of people who don't expect anything from life but lead their lives mainly for the experience of doing something and work hard at it? S told me that such people exist but I'm finding it hard to relate to. Any help, anyone?

Now, back to work! This last two months(starting today to May 15th) would be "work hard, Alpine!" period. But even I burst out laughing reading it. I don't think I would be putting in long hours doing research day in and day out. I would burn out far too quickly and wouldn't get anything done. My strategy would be more to:

1) get work done in a schedule

2) work in short bursts interlaced with other mindless stuff and fun stuff so that I don't feel that I'm working too long and have to take an equally long break.

3) Not go to the site of novels(yeah, the online english and tamil novels sites or library) till I finish these two months. (It would be the hardest of all the points, trust me!)

4) Copy all the movies I decide to watch to my hard disk and spend two weeks after May 15th to go through that list. 

5) Make a list of all the to do stuff and do them based on importance. (Not declutter my cupboard or computer just because I don't want to do the most important thing(usually something related to my research!) but because I'm doing it for their importance is higher than other tasks(like laundry))

6) Write a post daily on my blog to keep myself to accountable to myself and others - just a short list of how my day went and what I did to get nearer to May 15th goal. The goal is to graduate. But as to how well I graduate, you'll get to know at the end of May 15th. I have a plan and a wish. I'm sure my plan will work, I hope my wish works!

In all, I want to thank all my friends and family for making this spring break a truly memorable one. And a special thanks to all Rutgers friends for doing that special trip with us! 

How did your last spring break go? Any memories of it? And any unforgettable incidents? Do share them all! And keep an eye out for these accountability posts!

Applied for OPT

Applied for my OPT, finally. Hoping I get it done quickly!! 

For the clueless:

OPT or Optional Practical Training is the 12 month practical training period option given to foreign students to train practically in their field of study. It is mostly used as a transition period from F1 visa to H1B visa. For more info, check Wikipedia.

For official information, check the USCIS site. 

Do you want to - link edition

A collection of some interesting articles I read this week:

Do you want to own free land in the US of A? Here you go.

Do you want to rent rims to your new car? Off you go.

Or do you want a new car itself? (Hint: I'm thinking of one car from this family for my first car... hoping that it happens soon!)

Do you want a clean inbox and a happy email life? Here it is.

Do you want to get your creativity kicking and happy? Enjoy it here!

Finally,
Do you want to give a shot at the meaning of life? Check this out!

Thoppukaranam = Super yoga

Namma oor thoppu karanam, inga Super Yoga aayiduchu. Now I understand why all the makku students were made to put thoppu karanam by the vaathiyaar in olden days. On a totally unrelated note, does this have anything to do with the jokes about husbands putting thoppu karanam to their wives? Interesting question!

Budget making - the hows

Recently, I had written a post as to why someone needs a budget and how useful it is in the long run. Here is the follow up on it. How do you make a budget? Mind you, I had no clue as to what a budget is and how it would help in using the resources I had. So, I did a Google search for making and using budgets and then tried some stuff on my own to hit on a sweet spot where it is not much work any more but gives all the info I need at a glance.

Some thoughts on the budget mechanism I use:
1) I didn't want to spend money on budget tools like Quicken, YNAB, etc. for I wasn't yet convinced of the positives of a budget. So, I didn't want to spend anything on it. Further, I wasn't sure if my enthusiasm would remain after a few budget sessions to justify buying the tool.
2) I didn't want to put up my finance data online. All said and done, I'm freaky about keeping my personal info offline(at least, as much of personal info as I can). So, that threw away services like Wesabe, Mint, etc from the pool.

3) I didn't want to keep moving from one format to another.

4) I wanted to be able to tweak things as I wanted them to. Basically, I wanted something that would grow and change with my learning of finances. 

At the end, I was left with either plain old pen and paper option or excel spreadsheet option. Knowing that it is hard for me to keep up with paper, I chose the spreadsheet option. I use Excel spreadsheet for entering all the info.

Here goes the mechanism I followed for making a budget.

1) Start keeping tabs on what you spend money on
Open a spreadsheet and enter columns like date, item(what you spent on - groceries, dinner, cab, printing, etc), credit(money coming to you - salary, tax refund, etc), debit(money going out - all expenses). All you have to do is to enter all the transactions in it and sum it up. The difference between credit and debit is what you have in savings. In order to know how much you spend per category, just add columns labeled groceries, utilities, etc and enter those transactions in it. Summing them up would give you an idea as you how much you have spent on each category. You can have as many categories as you want. One of my friends has about 40 categories while another has only five. But, both of them use the budget well. So, depending on your level of need for micromanagement, the number of categories would vary.  

I used to spend a lot of money on eating out(in our university dining centers and in downtown) with friends. The second vice was shopping. Not that I brought lots of stuff, it was more passive shopping. Intrigued? I usually go for shopping with my friends and help them choose stuff. In the process, I would end up buying a shirt or a perfume or a book or a ... hope you get the drift. Also, half of my eating outs happened when I went on these shopping trips - a smoothie at 11 am, lunch at 2 pm, a snack at 5 pm and finally ending the day with dinner at a restaurant cost us way more than expected. I had no clue I was spending so much on these two categories.

2) Take a hard look at each of the categories
Take a look at each transaction and see if there is something that you can drop without changing your comfort level too much. Mark each of it and make a note of the amount you can save in each category. For example, if you get a total of $300 for eating out every month but feel that you can reduce it to $150, make a note of saving $150 in that category. This would give you a feel of your budget.

For me, eating out was a result of me not having time to cook at home. By scheduling time to cook at home(at least on weekdays), it became easier to plan my groceries, get them and finally cook and eat at home. Bonus point was eating healthier stuff at home.

3) A budget draft
With the newly created cap for spending on each category, you are now ready with a budget draft. Try to consciously reduce spending in each category for the next month. Check to see if each transaction is worth it. For example, the blender that you get at Walmart might be worth the cost for it may help you cook faster whereas the cute teddy that you see in Toys R Us might not make the cut.

For me, I brought some microwave bowls(about ten or eleven) that cost me a lot more initially. But they help me store food and I don't have to cook every day. Whereas, shopping didn't make it. So, I stopped going out for shopping 'just like that' to avoid getting unnecessary stuff.

4) Making changes
Repeat steps 1 and 2 again and compare it with your expectations. Sometimes, your expectations might be satisfied(you expected to save $150 and saved $150 - keep it up). Sometimes, you might have done better than you expected(you expected to save $150 but saved $200 - keep up the good work and change your budget accordingly). Sometimes, you might have done worse(you expected to save $150 but saved only $100 - change your budget to reflect that).

For me, I had thought I would save a lot on eating out(which I did) but went over budget on groceries(expected but I hadn't thought of it). So I changed my budget to reflect the change.

5) A final word
Keep repeating the above steps and you would see that as the months go by, you have a fair idea as to what you do with your money. A budget is a living document and changes with changes in our life. Especially, for students, its hard to say that you get a set amount of money every month. Some months, you get to work more while in some others, you have so many deadlines that you just can't work part time. So, based on your situation, the budget can expand or contract. For, it is you who is being accountable to yourself.  Do what works for you!

Further, you can decide how to have fun and do it well. For example, if traveling is your kind of fun, you can save money for it and have fabulous vacations. It really doesn't make sense to spend money on movies and eating out when you could use that money towards your vacation. In all, its all about your priorities and a budget helps you chart a way towards those priorities.

For me, I try to keep all my spending on necessary expenses to 70% of whatever I earn, 20% on irregular expenses and 5% for fun spending and 5% for saving. Though this is not a hard and fast rule(I order to-go more often on days when I have a deadline looming ahead, my 'eating out' category shoots up while my groceries category goes down a bit), I try to stick to it as much as possible.  

Happy budgeting!

What type of a budget works for you? Do you use any software to track your expenses? Any comments?

Satisfied Mind

Recently heard "Satisfied Mind" by Jeff Buckley. The following lines stuck out:

Money can’t buy back all your youth when you’re old
A friend when you’re lonely, or peace for your soul
The wealthiest person is a pauper at times
Compared to the man with a satisfied mind

Rajavum Rosyum

ராஜாவுக்கு சரியான கோபம்... இந்த முருகனுக்கு கொஞ்சம் கூட அறிவில்லையா? இன்றும் இதே வீதியில் தான் வாக்கிங் வர வேண்டுமா? இதில் இவனையும் இழுத்து கொண்டு. "நாம் கூப்பிடற இடத்துக்கு இவன் வரதுக்கு எவ்ளோ கஷ்டபடுவோம்? ஆனா, இவன் இழுத்த இழுப்புகெல்லாம் நம்ம வர வேண்டியதா இருக்கு. நம்ம பொழப்பு நாய் பொழப்புன்றது சரியாதான் இருக்கு. ச்சே!", என்று சலித்து கொண்டான். ராஜாவுக்கு இந்த வீதி பிடிக்காததில் ஒரு காரணம் உண்டு. அந்த மூலை வீட்டில் ரோசி இருப்பாள். அவளுக்கு எப்போதும் முருகனை பிடிக்கும். எதோ அவன் வந்து தான் தன் வாழ்கை நன்றாக போவதாக சீன் போடுவாள். "இதெல்லாம் தேவையா?" என்று ராஜாவுக்கு எரிச்சல் வரும். இது கூட புரியாத மண்டுவாக முருகன் இருக்கானே என்று உள்ளூர ஒரு வருத்தம் கூட.

ஆஹா! மூலை வீட்டை நெருங்கி விட்டோம்! முருகனுக்கு கொஞ்சம் கூட வெக்கமே இல்லையா? இவன என்ன பண்றது? என்று நினைத்த ராஜா திடுகிட்டான். இது வரை முருகனை இவன் அவன் என்று சொன்னதில்லை. அதுக்கும் அவன் மேலேயே கோபம் வந்தது. இந்த முருகனும் தான் ஏன் இவ்வளவு வேகமாக நடக்கிறான்? "ராஜா, சீக்கிரம் வா!" என்று அதட்டல் வேறு! ராஜாவுக்கு சுறு சுறுவென்று கோபம் வந்தது. அப்படியே கடித்து குதறலாமாவென்று நினைத்தான். ஆனால் என்ன செய்வது? எல்லாம் தலை எழுத்து. இந்த ஜென்மத்தில் இந்த பொழப்புக்கு வேற என்ன செய்வது? என்று தன்னை நொந்துகொண்டே முருகனை தொடர்ந்தான். இதோ! ரோசியும் நிற்கிறாள். முருகனை கண்டதும், எதோ காணாததை கண்டது போல அப்படி ஓடி வருகிறாள். ச்சே! இதெல்லாம் பார்க்கணும் நம்ம தலை எழுதிட்டானே! ன்னு பிரம்மா மேலயே ராஜாவுக்கு கோபம் வந்தது.

மூவரும் அருகில் இருந்த பார்க்குக்கு சென்றனர். முருகன் தான் எடுத்து வந்த பிஸ்கட்ஐ ரோசிக்கு தர, அவளும் அதை ஆவலாய் சாப்பிட்டாள். "என்னவோ இவங்க வீட்ல பிஸ்கட்ஏ கண்ல காட்டாதது மாதிரி! அங்க தான் ஏழு கார் நிக்குதே! அப்பறமும் ஏன் இந்த சீன்? ஓவர் சீன் ஒடம்புக்கு ஆகாது!" என்று ராஜா சைடு காப்பில் பொருமினான். ஆனால் முருகன் இதெல்லாம் கண்டால் தானே? ரோசியுடன் நேரம் செலவழிப்பது தான் உலகில் மிக முக்கியமான பணியாக செய்து கொண்டு இருந்தான். ரோசியும் ராஜாவை திரும்பி கூட பார்க்க வில்லை. ஏதோ முருகன் மட்டுமே உலகம் என்று இருந்தாள். ஒரு மணி நேரம் கழித்து, முருகன் மனமில்லாமல் கிளம்பினான். ரோசி ஏக்க பார்வை பார்த்தாள். "அப்பாடா! இந்த கருமம் இனி இல்ல" என்று குஷியாக இருந்தது ராஜா மட்டுமே. ஆனால் அவனுக்கும் முருகன் முகம் பார்த்து வருத்தம் தான். "ஆனா! அதுக்காக? ரோசிய தலையிலயா வச்சுக்க முடியும்? அவங்க வீட்ல என்ன சொல்வாங்க?" என்று நினைத்து கொண்டே ரோஸிஐ திரும்பி பார்த்தான் ராஜா. அப்போது ரோஸி வேண்டாவெறுப்பாய் வீட்டுக்குள் சென்று கொண்டு இருந்தாள். "என்னடா இது? நாம் நம் வீட்டுக்கு போனால் அம்மா காலையே பிடித்து கொண்டு சுற்றுவோம், அப்பா வந்தால் விளையாடுவோம், அக்கா கொஞ்சாமால் விட மாட்டோம். இவ என்னடானா, வீட்டுக்கு போறதுக்கு இவ்ளோ மூஞ்சிய தூக்கி வச்சுகறாளே? முருகனை அவ்ளோ பிடிச்சி போச்சா?" என்று நினைத்து கொண்டே வீட்டுக்கு வந்தான்.

இரவு தூங்க போகும் போது, முருகனும் அம்மாவும் பேசுவது கேட்டது. "என்னடா, இன்னைக்கும் ரோசிய பார்த்துட்டு வந்தியா? உனக்கு இதே பொழப்பா போச்சு. படிப்பு தவிர மத்ததெல்லாம் பண்ற! அப்பாகிட்ட சொல்லணுமா?" என்று அம்மா கேட்கும் குரல். "நல்லா வேணும், முருகா! பிஸ்கட்ஆ குடுக்குற பிஸ்கட். அம்மா கரெக்டா கேட்டீங்கமா!" என்று துள்ளாட்டம் போட்டான் ராஜா(மனதிற்குள் தான்!). கொஞ்சம் கழித்து முருகனின் குரல் கேட்டது. " அம்மா! பாவம்மா ரோஸி! அவ வீட்ல தான் யாருமே பார்த்துகறதில்ல. vet இருக்காரு, instructor இருக்காரு, சமையல் காரம்மா இருக்காங்க. ஆனா, யாருமே அது கிட்ட அன்பா இல்லமா. ஏதோ கடமைக்கு சாதம் போடறாங்க; மத்த காரியம் பண்றாங்க. ரோஸி எவ்ளோ நல்லா வெளையாடுது தெரியுமா? அது பாவம்மா. நாய்னா அன்பு எதிர்பார்க்க கூடாதா? அதுவும் உயிர் தான மா! அதான் நான் போய் டெய்லி கொஞ்சம் வெளையாடிட்டு வரேன். இது தப்பாமா?". "இல்லடா கண்ணா! தப்பே இல்ல" என்று அம்மா அணைத்து கொண்டார்கள். கேட்டு கொண்டிருந்த ராஜாவுக்கு யாரோ மண்டையில் ஓங்கி அடித்தது போல இருந்தது. "ச்சே! ஒரு சக நாயோட கஷ்டம் தெரியாம இருந்துட்டோம்! அதான் ரோஸி சோகமா வீட்டுக்கு போச்சா? இப்ப எல்லாம் புரியுது. இனிமே நம்மளும் ரோசியோட friendlya இருக்கணும்." என்ற முடிவுடன் தூங்க போனான்.

மறுநாள், ரோஸிஐ பார்க்க முருகன் சென்ற போது, ராஜாவும் துள்ளி கொண்டு சென்றான், ரோஸிஐ பார்த்து சிநேக பார்வையுடன்.

- Alpine

Sometimes....

Sometimes, the hot coffee smell from a cafe as you pass it reminds you of home and your grandma's coffee.

Sometimes, the four-part hairdo that an American girl sports reminds you of the time your granny taught you to do it and her appreciation of your making.

Sometimes, the soft white snow that crinkles under your touch reminds you of your grandma's skin and its softness.

Sometimes, the tasting of some exotic Indian dish at a friend's place reminds you of the time your grandma made it just the way you liked it so that you eat it without fuss.

Sometimes, your friends advising you about healthy eating reminds you of the care that your granny took to make sure you were healthy.

Sometimes, seeing a swing reminds you of the innumerable hot summer days when you went back home for Nannari sarbath after playing in the swing with friends.

Sometimes, seeing a perfectly made vadai or appalam makes you think of the countless vadais and appalams and other dishes(all of them perfect) that you had made by your granny.

Sometimes, seeing your international school advisor reminds you of your granny and you wait half an hour to just meet her instead of getting the work done by another advisor who is free.

Sometimes, you tend to look out for some colors when shopping for clothes because they remind you of your granny in her favorite sari.

Sometimes, the cold weather reminds of the bhajjis and bondas that your granny made for you and your cousins.

Sometimes, seeing a small American boy and smiling at him just because his nose and jaws remind you of your granny.

Sometimes, calling your mom just so that she uses some words that your granny always does.

Sometimes, even in the midst of hardships, you know that your granny would have been happy at what you've done.

Sometimes, in the dead of the night, with her picture near you, your pillow reminds you of her lap and all the times you slept in it.

Sometimes, when you feel nothing goes right, your granny's serene smile brings joy to you and a confidence that you can win the world.

I miss you, paati!